


damn the lying time

by soniagiris



Category: Persona 5
Genre: (i mean my friend took a look at this lol), (kinda? i guess lol), Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Kitagawa Yusuke/Persona 5 Protagonist (One-Sided), Love/Hate, Lowercase, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Not Beta Read, POV Second Person, Pining, Stream of Consciousness, Trans Character, Trans Kitagawa Yusuke, Trans Male Character, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love, Wordcount: 100-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 18:15:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18609874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soniagiris/pseuds/soniagiris
Summary: my lips are raw from the thought of you.





	damn the lying time

**Author's Note:**

>   * no additional warnings (other than those in tags, i mean) apply, i guess. it. it really isn't a happy fic, though, so keep that in mind.
>   * thanks go to sparrow @ikuzonos for taking a look at this fic and then sending sad fic stuff to me <3
> 


there's something dark in his eyes — something you know quite well yourself, and what does it say about you? nothing you don't already know. you have tasted it, yes, on your own tongue, blood and steel, and anger, and you recognize it when you kiss yusuke kitagawa in his dorm room two days before you're set out to kill akira kurusu. you know it. you know so much and so little, and kitagawa doesn't push you away. his thumbs hooked in your belt loops, he tilts his head back with a sigh that makes blood rush between your legs.

you don't fuck him that day. no, you fuck him when it's past midnight and after all the bottles of nihonshu you brought are empty. you screw kitagawa in his shitty dorm room, and there's paint underneath your fingernails. you eat him up, yeah, you do that, and you think, _here we go, kurusu._ you think about how you have never been loved. you don't think, though, about whom the boy you're going down on doesn't even remotely like you. his skin is cold. you feel that's the only thread of true connection between the two of you.

he watches you. he always does, did — but no future, this little rhyme isn't going to go on, because he's going to die, too. he has to. and you're selfish, you take what never belonged to you, including the heart of your father and the way kitagawa breathes in the afterglow. you lean forward and you steal his air. you will steal his future too, all i'm-going-to's and wishes and whatever the fuck you want. you don't think you'll live to see a future in which you could have the time to have any regrets.

but that's okay. that's alright. you have erased your past, and kitagawa, and the way he makes you want to _actually be alright enough to love,_ are going to belong to it soon. the past fades away like the redness of blood splashed with hydrogen peroxide, and the present never lasts long enough. and the future is clear and unavoidable.

so you don't think about hows and whys. you just wait until kitagawa falls asleep, then press your lips to his sweaty forehead and head out, wishing that everything was over already.

you're done with being troubled. and you think that's another thing you see in kitagawa.

you think. but it's all cognition, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> a/n
> 
>   * ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
>   * comment/kudo if you read/liked! c:
>   * i. i don't know tbh. i didn't even know if i should post it or not, but. meh. i mean, i have this whole akekita dynamic idea (that i talked abt on discord somewhere, don't ask me to write it down again ok) so it felt fitting to finally write something with it. lol.
>   * anyway yeah interact with me on twitter/tumblr (@soniagiris) if you wanna chat o/ i also have a discord server for me people (read: mutuals, followers, and ao3 readers/followers too ig)
> 



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